Outside The Line

Catching Our Breath, In Bullet Form

There is little point in recapping India's win yesterday, since anyone reading this will most probably have already seen it for themselves. (The Cricket Watcher's Journal has a pretty comprehensive round-up of news and reactions from the final, in case anyone missed anything). Here, though, are some random thoughts/observations I made during the match: 

• Something that must be noted about Misbah-ul-Haq's little paddle to Sreesanth to end the match: it probably wouldn't have even happened had the game not been played in Johannesburg. The previous delivery was a straight pull for six that I'm pretty certain would have been caught inside the boundary in any other ground in the world.
  
  
• It's a little funny how, out of the entire clan of immensely gifted cricketers who have dominated Indian cricket for more than a decade, the only two who ended up victorious in an international tournament were the two biggest underachievers of the lot -- Virender Sehwag and Ajit Agarkar.
  
  
• I wonder what that final would have been like had Pakistan's best bowler not been injured. Mohammad Asif was clearly below his best yesterday, and it was obvious that there was some little niggle causing him discomfort. Would India have even gotten to 150 if Asif, Gul, and Afridi were all firing? I doubt it. (Incidentally, did Asif's injury have anything to do with his pre-tournament altercation with Shoaib Akhtar? What an interesting sub-plot it would be, if that's the case.)

• So my pre-World Cup predictions ended up, not surprisingly, being completely wrong: I initially had both India and Pakistan going out early. However, I wasn't as far off as it would seem. My reasoning was mostly correct -- I said I didn't expect teams with bad fielding to get very far. And they didn't, really. Except India and Pakistan were actually great fielding teams, all tournament long. (That's right, kids... it's a brave new world we live in.)

• My buddy George has a simple, yet brilliant suggestion for any cricket played in the future: keep the stumps as loose in the ground as they were throughout the World Cup. Seeing them fly off the  and almost decapitate the keeper every time someone was bowled had to one of the coolest enduring images of the past two weeks.
  
  

The Final Stream (p.2)

AUSTRALIA v. SRI LANKA, Final (April 28)

Nothing a rum and a quick J can't fix. The asking rate is 7.47 per over. Here's the chase:

8th Over

... So I guess it's all up to Jayasuriya now. His average against Australia does not inspire much confidence: 22.5. It's all about attacking Tait and Watson and cruising diffidently against McGrath. This ain’t the 1990s… this score can be chased. ...

... McGrath comes on to bowl for the last time in his career. To Jayasuriya, who is most likely also batting in his last international innings. ...

... Ricky Ponting really goes all out with those spitballs he hurls onto his hands before fielding, doesn’t he? They’re not scattered droplets of saliva on his fingertips; they’re huge slimey globs he smears all across his palms. ...

16th Over

... McGrath is bowling superbly and there seems to be no way anyone could play him right now. So this is it -- McGrath and Gilchrist doing it for Australia. Again. And if Warne had been here, I’m sure he would have contributed as well. That trio represent the primary reason for Australia’s dominance in the past decade. They are three absolutely unique freaks of nature; the kind of sporting geniuses that usually only come along once or twice per generation. And Australia had THREE of them at the same time. You could surround them with a bunch of under-15 Zimbabwe club players and I bet they would still win more often than not. ...

... Thank god for Watson and his flavourless fast-medium. Between him and Tait, Sri Lanka are staying in this match. They also have Hogg to bash around if needed, so there’s no reason to panic yet. ...

 ... Jayasuriya hit the first mis-timed four of the Sri Lankan innings, over long-on. Make that Australia: 23, Sri Lanka: 1. ...

... Sangakkara has found a streak of form out of nowhere and is creaming the bowling to all parts, doing it with nothing but classical strokeplay. Out of the blue, on the third ball of the 13th over, he suddenly went up the pitch to McGrath and pulled a massive six. He then hit another two dismissive fours to finish the over and is looking as good with the bat as he has all tournament. ...

... Sri Lanka's second fifty of the innings came from 27 balls. They are now ahead of Australia's pace and both batters are looking comfortable at the crease. Did someone say "Wanderers '06 all over again?" ...

24th Over

... And then Sangakkara pulls a fuller ball by Hogg and spoons it straight to Ponting at mid-wicket. The partnership is dead. ...

... J. mentions how Jawardene looks completely in control from the first delivery. He really has become a middle-order monster in recent times, and is proving it during this World Cup. ...

... You are kidding me! Jayasuriya gets bowled by Clarke with a ball that essentially rolled on to the stumps after pitching. Why Sri Lanka are being made to bat on a sticky wicket in 2007, I have no fucking idea. It has been drizzling for quite a while now, and the wicket even looks damp -- a muddy, dark brown colour. But since Sri Lanka are on the wrong side of Duckworth-Lewis, they still have to attack like maniacs, just in case the umpires decide to pull them out of the field sometime. How many more obstacles does Sri Lanka need to face today? ...

31st Over

... It looks like a Rastaman has come out with a sack full of herbal refreshment for the players. Oh no, it's just some sawdust for the bowlers. Any more time you want to waste there, Ponting? ...

... So they come off the field right as the rain starts belting down. Sri Lanka are doomed. ...

36th Over

... Now to add insult to griveous injury, we get Mark Nicholas and Michael Atherton, the two most condescending and arrogant-sounding commentators on the scene, sitting in the commentator's box to finish the game. Please kill me right now. ...

The sight that will define this World Cup: Percy Sonn, the CEO of the ICC, looking like a Banana Republic leader about to be deposed by the military, standing on the makeshift podium, in the dark, as the crowd hisses and booes.

Tony Cozier thanks the groundstaff for "perhaps the best of all" pitches they produced this tournament. Yeah, the Australians would like to thank them immensely.

Jayawardene was asked to talk about the players from his team who will probably not make it to another World Cup. He talked about Jayasuriya, Murali, Vaas, Atapattu, but forgot to mention Russel Arnold. Not even his teammates remember his existence! It's no surprise that Arnold's first-class team is called "the Nondescripts". (That is 100% true, you can check.)

Ricky Ponting accepts the trophy and answers the typical questions. Now that I think about it, I guess he's a smart choice as captain and ambassador for Australia, since his facial features really are quite marsupial. He has the koala-in-the-headlights look mastered. Tourism Australia should give him a call sometime.

The Final Stream (p.1)

AUSTRALIA v. SRI LANKA, Final (April 28)

The match has been cut down to 38 overs, so instead of posting at 10-over intervals, it'll have to be every 8. (Well, three lots of 8 and then two 7s. Does it matter, really?)

8th Over

... As if Australia needed some extra luck, Ricky Ponting has again won the toss, and the Australians will be batting a shortened innings. This is the second consecutive final where they have won the toss (and it might as well be the third, since Wasim Akram basically shot himself in the foot by batting first in bowler-friendly conditions in '99). Uh-oh. ...

... Now that's the Hayden of old: 11 off 27 deliveries. A valuable time-waster at the top of the innings. For a long time, he and Damien Martyn were the only thing that kept Australia's opponents in the game on flat pitches. You actually had to cheer for Australia not losing wickets, if only because it meant Haydos and Damo were keeping the strike rate at around 5, rather than the 6+ that Ponting or Symonds guaranteed. ...

16th Over

... 46 for 0 at the ten over mark. Considering that the pitch looks flatter than Mischa Barton and there is no swing for Vaas to exploit, I'd say that is a great start for Sri Lanka, albeit without an early wicket. ...

... Dilhara Fernando dropped a tough c & b chance off Gilchrist at the start of the 11th over. The next three balls went for four, four, and six. How long before we see the first no-ball? What's the over/under? I say third ball off his next over ...

... Muralitharan has come on and the fate of the Sri Lanka's today could hang on what his first few overs yield. Dilshan is at the other end, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible so he can steal a few cheap overs before anyone notices that he can be carted for 20 runs in an over without too much effort. ...

... Gilchrist has decided that this is his day, and there's nothing anyone can or could do it about. Not Murali. Not Malinga. Not McGrath, or Bracken, or Warne, or Dennis Lillee, or Keith Miller. ...

24th Over

... Great, Hayden's hitting edges to third man for four now. The eighteenth over, bowled by Fernando, went for 13 runs and not one of those came from anywhere near the middle of the bat. The beach ball is now out in the stands, the Mexican wave is probably not too far off... just another day of unbearable Australian dominance. ...

... Mark Nicholas is just going through all the random factors that have gone against Sri Lanka today:

-- They lost the toss.
-- The game was cut to 38 overs, which helps the Australian big hitters.
-- Although the air was humid, there was absolutely no swing for Vaas.
-- Muralitharan has less overs to bowl and be dangerous.
-- The ball will get less scuffed up for someone like Malinga to exploit the reverse swing. ...

... Gilchrist gets to his hundred with a top-edge for four over the infield in the second Powerplay. Australia have raced to 150 in no time and I doubt they've timed more than 50% of their balls. Hayden has yet to hit the middle of the bat in 50 deliveries and has somehow reached 38. Gilchrist has indeed smashed a few meaty sixes and fours, as he will do whenever he stays at the crease for any extended period of time, but he has mis-timed just as many of his shots. This is beyond ridiculous. ...

31st Over

... So is Gilly going to get a double-century in a World Cup final, off 38 overs?! Is that the plan for today? I can't believe this shit is happening again. Another absurdly flat pitch, another small ground, another toss won by Australia, another ugly pummeling. It's been four years since the massacre at Jo'burg, and look how little things have changed. ...

... So much for consolations: Gilchrist just got out for 149, and now Andrew Symonds (career strike rate: 92.3) comes in to bat. ...

38th Over

... Mark Nicholas must need a change of underwear pretty soon. That pre-cum should be accumulating at a scary rate the way he’s going on about the Australians. ...

... How many edges have gone to the third man boundary now for four? Eight? Ten? Malinga did nothing wrong in his 7th over, and he still got hit for thirteen. ...

… Watson was made to look very, very ordinary by Malinga. He was trying to be cute by paddling the ball around the corner, but was too slow and ungainly and only succeeded in getting himself bowled. ...

... Some amazing death bowling by Malinga and Fernando, given the situation. (78 off the last 10)

I’m a little shell-shocked at the moment, to be honest. Hopefully I can get my bearings back before the chase.

Bullets From The Head (Aus v. RSA)

[Note -- I didn't actually manage to make live notes during either of the Semifinals. I did not have my notebook with me in the stadium for the NZ v Sri Lanka match, and then we overslept by half an hour and missed most of South Africa's collapse the next morning. These are all notes jotted down from memory that second night.]

AUSTRALIA v. SOUTH AFRICA

-- Can Graeme Smith be fired now? Has he done enough already to be stripped of the captaincy? Why is nothing that ever happens to that team his fault? After seeing Jayawardene's incredible mastery of pace in an innings the day before, or Ponting's steady control every time the first wicket falls for Australia, Smith's idiotic lunge down the pitch in the 2nd over seems like a pure abduction of responsibility to me. Being captain isn't just about standing in the infield stroking your chin and looking pensive, or blurting out a few vapid clichés in the third person plural ("yeah, the boys gave it their all...") during the post-match interview. It's about standing up when your team needs you and putting the burden on your own shoulders. It's stating from the outset that you are there to stay. To lead. Like Steve Waugh or Imran Khan did. Like Rahul Dravid and Inzamam-ul-Haq do. Hell, like Trent Johnston does.  

But nothing will change, and Smith will continue as captain. I guess I might as well just accept it and switch to another target, so...

-- ...wow, how dumb and weak-minded did Jacques Kallis turn out to be? I had no idea. For someone with such amazing powers of concentration and discipline in his batting, he sure got dismissed in a way that would make even Marlon Samuels blush. A complete brain-fart that could well tarnish the rest of his career. And all that was needed to instigate it were a couple of lines in a ghostwritten newspaper column by Ricky Ponting a few days before the match. You'd think this was Kallis' debut series, or something.

I always wondered why Kallis was never involved in any captaincy discussions. I'm beginning to understand why. He's probably as dense as mountain air -- a batting idiot savant with a textbook technique and a bulldog build, but completely empty upstairs.

-- I'm still deep in my search of a single non-partisan soul in this entire region that actually enjoys watching Australia dominate. At the quiet suburban guesthouse outside of Kingston where we stayed, we met another nine people who had come for the World Cup: four South Africans, two English guys, an Australian mother and her teenage son, and a lone Kiwi. Not one of them could sit in the shared living room and watch more than 15 overs of the Australian run chase. About halfway through Hayden and Clarke's partnership, we all just gave up altogether and changed it to first leg of the Liverpool v. Chelsea Champions League semi.

I know it's no fun watching any team chase a score of 150, but shouldn't there be a certain awe and pleasure in watching such a powerful sports dynasty dominating its field? Wasn't Muhammad Ali impossible to ignore, even when he was clearly better than his opponent? Or Michael Jordan? Or Roger Federer? I can't bear to sit in front of the TV when Australia is cantering to victory. Watching Matthew Hayden clobber boundaries with mis-timed pulls on his way to 60 not out is like sitting through Detention at school, counting down the Runs To Get like you'd count seconds left on the clock.

Bullets From The Head (NZ v. Sri Lanka)

[Note -- I didn't actually manage to make live notes during either of the Semifinals. I did not have my notebook with me in the stadium for the NZ v Sri Lanka match, and then we overslept by half an hour and missed most of South Africa's collapse the next morning. These are all notes jotted down from memory that second night.]

NEW ZEALAND v. SRI LANKA

-- Best live moment of the day: The Over of Plays and Misses by Ross Taylor, against Malinga. After having the ball beat the bat for the first five deliveries of the 8th over, the entire crowd erupted in cheers when Taylor finally managed to block the ball on the sixth. He even raised his bat to the crowd in acknowledgment, with a look on his face (showing on the big screen) that could do nothing but say, "Yeah... I know. Completely out of my depth. No need to mention it."

-- After having eaten countless overpriced, tasteless meals on various grounds around the world, I can now officially give out the award for the Worst Food To Buy At A Stadium, Ever: spicy peppered prawns. I don't know what motivated me to buy that concoction; maybe the fact that they were a little cheaper than the Escoveitch fish and a little more exotic than the bucket of KFC.

They come in a little plastic bag, which is itself inside a bigger paper bag with a napkin in it; a dozen or so full prawns, smeared in garlic and spicy seasoning. First you have to stick your fingers inside the greasy bag and pull out a prawn by either the head or the antennae. You then take off the head and peel the body, above the plastic bag, and throw the discards into the gap between the plastic and the paper; except sometimes they fall inside the original bag by accident and you have to fish them back out, or sometimes you miss both bags altogether and they land right on your shoe.

But that's if you manage to peel the damn things in the first place. Since the prawns are so old and stale, the shells were soft, sticky, and impossible to remove. The meat was flaky and yellow, the taste was gummy, and the thick black intestinal vein running down the back of the prawn could only give you the creeps if you stared at it for too long.

-- Sabina Park, although full enough to provide a lively atmosphere, was still not packed to capacity. For a World Cup semi-final. That is criminal. Everyone you ask about it will tell you it's all to the Indians ("the Indians" becoming a big catch-all clause for every source of negative spectator behaviour in this World Cup). The taxi driver from the airport in Kingston offered me tickets to the finals, which his cousin purportedly obtained in batches after the first round from a group of bitter Indian supporters.

Is it all the Indians’ fault? If India had gone through to the Super 8s and to the semis, would we have had some full stadiums? I doubt it. It seems like interest for the event was low across the board, and India's (and Pakistan's) early departure only exacerbated the problem. For the lack of original interest, you can blame the ICC and the organising committee. Because I can't think of any other reason why people would have no interest in attending an important international tournament in a place of such beauty and tranquility as the Caribbean.

Flowing Stream (SL-NZ, pt. 1)

You wouldn't know it from their profiles or from the hype, but cricket's most fascinating rivalry is getting its World Cup installment today.

New Zealand and Sri Lanka have a lot in common: they are both small islands with limited talent pools, professional teams with a hard work ethic and no real douchebags to mention. Naturally, they are often outshined by their bigger, flashier neighbours, but both of them have the strange ability to always remain competitive and keep any contest interesting.

The two teams have seen a lot of each other in the past few years, most recently during Sri Lanka's tour of New Zealand late last year. The results from that tour: Drawn Test series (1-1), drawn Twenty20 series (1-1), drawn ODI series (2-2). Apart from the fact that even-game series should be banned, that just shows have evenly matched and aware of each other's abilities both teams are, and how unpredictable their matches can be.

With that in mind, what better opportunity to shake off the morning-after fog of another night of cheap rum than a nice stream-of-consciousness summary in 10-over segments:

10th Over
... The moment I turned the TV on, the Hawkeye replay of Fleming's lbw wicket was being shown. I then went to get some orange juice from the kitchen and Ross Taylor got out before they even had time to show his ODI record on the screen. New Zealand could get spanked out of the ground today -- this is the first time they've had to play quality opposition in the tournament. Are the Kiwis really in form and dangerous, or did they blow their load too early against the dregs of world cricket? We'll find out very soon ...

... Scott Styris, the man with the second highest strike rate in World Cup history and a face only a mother can love, finally gets off the mark after playing out about 7 maidens of perfect Vaas balls ...

... Farveez Maharoof, the walking barometer of Sri Lankan fortunes, comes on to bowl in the 6^th over. If the Lankans are bowling well, applying pressure, and taking wickets, Maharoof looks a tight, economical seamer who is awfully hard to get away. If the team is getting carved, he looks slow, predictable and deliciously hittable.

20th Over
... Judging from his posture, I'd say Chaminda Vaas went to the same pediatrician as Forrest Gump. You could rest a champagne pyramid on that back ...

... Wicket off a no-ball for Maharoof. That surely won't affect him mentally, right? ...

... Wrong. He then gets hit for two consecutive fours by Styris. Sangakkara doesn't mess around after that. He just dons the helmet, stands up to the stumps and cramps the batters into slowing down. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried it with Malinga bowling one of these days. …

... Further proof that not even Kryptonite can stop Sangakkara at the moment: he was standing up to the stumps (what else?) to Vaas, and he caught a sweep off the face of Styris' bat with his balls. That's right, with his testicles. Asad Rauf, with the vacant visage of a man with nothing but tumbleweeds and lbw decisions in his mind, gave it not out. ...

30th Over
... Craig McMillan coming in at no. 5 to stave off a top-order collapse? Is it 1999 again, or something? What's next, get Chris Harris to open the bowling with Shane Bond? ...

... The Mid-Life Crisis Pair are at the crease right now. I don't know if they consulted each other on the matter, but Oram and Styris have the same ridiculous set of blonde highlights in their hair, which go great with their budding laugh lines and crow's feet on their faces. ...

... Where would NZ be without Scott Styris? He has only gotten out once during the whole World Cup, and today he's the lone reason why the Kiwis weren't skittled out for 70. I don't where they found the guy, I don't know what he was doing for those 11 years of professional cricket before he joined the national team, but he's now a genuine match-winning batsman and the most complete player in that team since Chris Cairns. ...

40th Over
... The trademark SLankan strangulation by spin has begun, and is already reaping benefits. McCullum complains about his dismissal, claiming he never hit a ball that went straight to bat-pad. Too bad the umpire actually gave it out lbw, Mr. McC. ...

... How the hell did New Zealand manage to get itself two 9-foot-tall freaks in their lineup? You could probably fit three whole Sri Lankans into Fulton's left sock and another three into Oram’s protective box.

... Is it that hard to get someone who actually knows how to bowl for local TV ads? As is to be imagined, the cricket theme is being used for a lot of ads here in Tobago around this time. The problem is that they've chosen actors who have obviously never played cricket, so you get egregious throws off five-pace run-ups, clonked off the front foot with awkward tennis shots. Hell, couldn’t they just have asked Sherwin Campbell or Ricardo Powell to play a few strokes in front of the cameras for them? I’m sure they need the work. ...

50th Over
... Dilshan bowls a maiden to James Franklin in the 46th over. Fuck 1999; are we back to 1979? ...

... A commentator's wet dream of a century by Styris: he came in under pressure, started slowly and looked shaky, could have been out a couple of times; but he dug in, worked the ball around, was there for the close, and ended the innings with a flourish after scoring more than half his team's runs. As far as degree of difficulty, I'd say that was easily the best hundred of the tournament so far. ...

New Zealand did well to post a score, let alone a competitive one. It still doesn't seem like it will be enough, though, unless Bond can get Jayasuriya (and a few others) out early. Even so, games between these two teams usually manage to become thrilling no matter what, so who knows what can happen?

Flowing Stream of Droppings (pt. 2)

ENG v. SRI LANKA (33rd match)

Here comes the chase:

10th Over
… For anyone who needed proof that Sangakkara is the best keeper in the world at the moment, take a look at Michael Vaughan's dismissal: a catch on the legside while standing up to the stumps to Vaas. …

… So is Michael Vaughan in the team as a specialist captain who can bowl a little? Before today’s duck, his average for the year in ODIs was 17. Oh and should we mention that he's yet to score a one-day century in his career? ...

… Ian Bell is in now, looking like an undergrown version of Vincent from the old "Beauty and the Beast" TV series. ...

… England's chance of victory walks to the crease now at 15 for 2. I'm not sure even they realise how much they rely on Pietersen, now that Flintoff has reverted to his pre-Ashes batting inconsistency. ...

20th Over
… Is it healthy to eat bacon sandwiches twice a day, every day? (Damn, it’s hard to do stream-of-consc when you also have to cook lunch at the same time.) ...

… As far as I can tell from my vantage point by the stove, England are cruising on a wave of KP, as they often do. Pietersen is driving everything on the up, and connecting, while Bell continues to make his living off the legside. …

30th Over
… And Ranjith Fernando finally makes it to the commentary box, halfway through the second innings! Did he think this was a day-night game? At least he's in time for Murali's spell. …

... Jayasuriya just helped Murali's cause immensely with a freaky flick run-out. Now they can take the third Powerplay and have Murali facing a new batsman. ...

… And that's the game: Pietersen c & b Muralitharan 58. Well, not quite the game, but the gamblers definitely concur: as soon as KP got out, the odds from Bet365 turned for Sri Lanka. I guess Flintoff's stock is on the drop. …

… KP is fuming as he walks back to the pav – he looks like he’s about to greet the first person who says a word to him with a punch to the Adam’s apple. ...

… Too many wickets for thought. Flintoff batted like a schoolboy and skyed a half-volley; Collingwood got out to the plumbest lbw I’ve ever seen in my life. Surely this is it for England. ...

40th Over
… "Skyed" can't be a real word, can it? ...

… Now that I've watched Paul Nixon bat for a while, I've realised that he wasn't wearing a mouth-guard as an addition to a helmet, he was wearing it as a replacement for it. I had it all backwards: it’s not that he’s been hit so often that he needs extra protection; he’s been hit so often that he’s quite used to it by now. But hey, if you asked me to name the “international player most likely to have been repeatedly hit on the head by hard flying objects” just based on his mugshot, I’d pick Nixon without hesitation. …

-- [45th Over] --
It's tense as all hell now. I'm not sure why, since neither one of the two batters, Nixon and Bopara, has shown the ability to be a 10+/over boundary-hitter. Nixon is very quick on the reverse-sweep, however, so I'm sure there will be action in all directions.

50th Over
… And they did it!! A thrilla in Antigua. When was the last time we had a match decided on the last ball?!  …

… So is hitting a reverse sweep for six really that great an achievement? Nixon’s looked disconcertingly easy. …

… Why oh why was Fernando given the ball for the last over instead of Vaas? I know he pulled it off in the end, and Vaas had had a forgettable game up to that point, but surely seniority rules apply here. Unless Vaas was offered to bowl and refused, I don’t see why he would be snubbed at the death. …

… D. Fernando, sounding pre-pubescent in his post-match interview with Michael Atherton, expressed his excitement about the win, while at the same time praising the efforts of "Bopara and the other guy [sic]" from England. ...

… The rest of the commentators are running bets to see how many times they can fit the phrase, "this is just what the World Cup needed", into the remaining 10 minutes of coverage. ...

… Kevin Pietersen is still fuming -- it looks like the only thing that can take his mind off the loss is a meaningless one-night stand with a club skank later in the night. …

So Sri Lanka are almost through, while England have to beat Australia in a few days just to have a chance. As Richie would say, "super day of cricket, that".

Time for a bacon sandwich.

Flowing Stream of Droppings (pt. 1)

We were planning to go surfing today, but the prospect of typing some morning-spliff stream-of-consciousness while watching Sri Lanka virtually sealing a semi-final berth was too good to pass up. So here they are, scattered brain droppings in 10-over segments from the England v. Sri Lanka game.

10th Over
… A solid start from Sri Lanka. They're batting on an odd-looking pitch, slightly resembling one of those miniature zen gardens that were all the craze in yuppie circles in the early 1990s. ...

… Jayasuriya got out early, so the Lankans target was duly adjusted from "Any score is possible" to "As close to 280 as we can get." ...

… Mike Atherton just described a bunch of Saj Mahmood's qualities, including his height, his brain, and his athletic ability. The downside? "He's never been particularly accurate." Um, okay. …

20th Over
… Three English commentators and two Indians. Did Ranjith Fernando take the day off to go snorkeling, or something? ...

… Q: Is Monty Panesar actually a bad fielder, or has he just been told he's a bad fielder so often that he gets nervous every time the ball heads in his direction? ...

… I guess Mahmood's "other" qualities are coming to the fore, since he just got the wicket of Sangakkara with a wide full-toss. …

30th Over
… Ian Botham sounds like he's suffering from a case of early-morning indigestion. He's just letting Sanjay Manjrekar state the bleeding obvious and then jumping in every so often to express cranky bewilderment at something England are doing. ...

… Has Paul Nixon been hit in the face so often that he needs a boxing mouth-guard every time he stands up to the stumps? ...

… Upul Tharanga is getting some flak for playing a slow innings lacking impetus. I'll be generous and just call it "Vaughnesque." …

40th Over
… Sri Lanka look completely unperturbed in their batting. They're just taking their innings at a canter; working the singles and two's; nursing Tharanga into form. It doesn't appear as if they rate England's chasing abilities very highly -- a 5-0 mauling can do that to you, I guess. ...

… Do Sri Lankan team shirts only come in two sizes? All you ever see are the tight, chest-hugging Jayasuriya numbers, or the loose, skydiver-in-a-wind-tunnel XL tents that Russel Arnold favors. …

50th Over
… I didn't catch the entire statement, but I heard Mike Atherton say something containing the phrase "England's excellence today". Excellence? Is English cricket in such a fucked-sorry state that allowing the opposition to a par score after putting them in to bat is now considered an "excellent" bowling effort? Good, yes. Commendable, fine. But "excellent"? ...

… Botham and Atherton are in full polish-England's-knob mode now. You'd think England just skittled them out for 120 or something. Am I the only who seems to remember that Sri Lanka have what is probably the best bowling lineup in this tournament (the most explosive pace bowler, the best spinner, the best supporting-spinner, and the most accurate swing bowler)? ...

So 235 it is -- Bet365 has the odds for the chase at 1.66 for England and 2.22 for Sri Lanka. I'm sure Beefy and Athers will agree. Is Ranjith still unavailable for comment?

Random Notes on a Truly Consequential Match

It wasn't even full. The stadium, it wasn't full. That's the image that struck me the most from the India v. Sri Lanka game yesterday. It wasn't India's umpteenth under-whelming performance in a major tournament, or the clinical flamboyance of a Sri Lankan team that is looking more dangerous and more confident by the day. It was the empty stands. Queen's Park Oval is not a huge venue -- it holds about 25,000 on a good day. We are being told all the time that India is home to the largest market and the most rabid cricket following in the world, and yet you're telling me they couldn't manage to pack a few thousand bodies into a picturesque Caribbean ground for the most important one-day game their team has had since the 2003 World Cup Final?

So now both the big Asian teams are gone, an outcome some might call disappointing if it wasn't at the same time so predictable. Does it really matter though? Probably not -- the Pakistanis have way bigger issues to worry about now and can't seem to want to hop on a plane out of the continent quickly enough. The Indians haven't looked like they could threaten New Zealand, let alone Australia, in years, so an early exit at least helps to keep their national agony prompt and gives them a few extra weeks for the inevitable processes of soul-searching and re-building.

Anyway, here are some scattered live observations made during yesterday's massacre:

-- Here's a great (non-bowling) reason why Muttiah Muralitharan is such an entertaining, indispensable character in world cricket: after he took a blinder of diving catch to get rid of Ganguly, he threw the ball in the air to celebrate, like all cricketers are wont to do; but then he got scared that the umpires might believe he threw it up too early and without being in full control, so he ran in the opposite direction to re-catch the ball, went for another full-length dive and ended up dropping the ball comically. The ball was definitely out and all his teammates were already running in to congratulate him, but Murali ended up looking like a little kitten who kicks a ball of yarn but then gets surprised by its movement and starts chasing it frantically. Priceless.

-- Arbitrary ICC Regulation Put In Place For The World Cup That Only Serves To Kill The Fan Experience of the Day:

No paying spectator can leave the stadium's grounds during a World Cup match. If you want to leave at any point, they expect you to buy another ticket to come back in. If you ask me, that is just blatant discrimination against those fans who are unwilling to stand in line during the lunch break to get overpriced buckets of KFC or lukewarm roti at the concession stand, and who'd rather pop out to the park for a quick joint to liven up the afternoon run chase.

-- It's nice to see Russel Arnold keeping alive the long-standing Sri Lankan tradition of "fielding at least one player who looks like he has recently been through a famine." Arnold has taken the role over from Upul Chandana, who had held title for years with a face that seemed almost custom-built for a World Vision ad. I think his bio picture was even Photoshoped to remove the buzzing flies.

-- Sachin Tendulkar has really mastered the art of the memorable entrance. He comes out of the pavilion and onto the field at the just the right moment, strolling at a perfect pace; slow but determined. He crosses the outgoing batsman early, close to the boundary, so he can bask in the lone limelight for as long as possible. He seems to time it so that his name is announced over the P.A. about halfway through his walk, a steady roar building around the stadium as spectators turn their heads to see a diminutive legend in the flesh. It doesn't matter how badly his form may be, or how old he might get, he makes every trip to feel like a special occasion for the fan; a true experience; an event.

And then… he gets bowled for a duck by Sri Lanka's fourth best bowler.

Random Notes on an Inconsequential Match

We attended our first live game yesterday, Sri Lanka v. Bangladesh, at the Queen's Park Oval in Port of Spain. The stadium (if it can be called that, even with the additional stands built just for the World Cup) was barely half-full, with small pockets of vociferous partisan supporters livening the scene, but mostly just a selection of sedate locals enjoying a calm afternoon of cricket. The result was unsurprising, but served well as an appetiser for the big feast on Friday, the India v. Sri Lanka clash.

Some scattered observations about the match and locale:

-- I had wondered ever since we ordered the game tickets last year what the offer of a "Party Stand" entailed exactly. I knew it might be too much to ask for an actual party atmosphere, given the regulations and security guidelines imposed by the ICC to prevent the spread of too much fun around the grounds, as well as the fact that this was a first-round game held in the middle of the week between two small teams with modest followings. What we got instead from the Party Stand were eight drink vouchers and one meal voucher each, which actually seems like a fairly decent trade-off. Pump enough alcohol and tepid fast food into any fan's system, and any stand becomes a Party Stand, really.

-- Trinis like their music, and they like it loud. Between every over and during every extended break, the house speakers blared short deafening snippets from high-tempo tunes. I'd be all for it, if it wasn't for the utterly humdrum selection of tracks. As far as I can remember, all they had to offer were a few local remixes of overplayed hip-hop-lite hits, an Afro-Cab version of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" sung in Spanish, and a terrible corporate anthem about cricket, full of lines about "the spirit of the game" and "spreading peace and love."

-- In the playing field, the big difference between the so-called 'minnows' and the Big Boyz appears to be how they deal with adversity. Any score to chase beyond 250 makes teams like Bangladesh wilt easily, never even looking like they have a chance. Lower-tier ODI teams like England and West Indies, who just as often face scores slightly beyond their reach, rarely have that deflated look about them right from the start of their innings. Maybe they've just been faced with those situations so many times that they've grown to learn how to hide the obvious and delay the inevitable for longer. Practice makes perfect, after all.

-- Kumar Sangakkara is well on his way to reaching legendary status in his island. He already exudes an air of confidence and know-how on the field that few modern players can claim. Another four or five years at that level and he might reach a similar status on the global stage -- if he doesn't, at least he'll be certain to settle into a nice role as a respected elder statesman and trusted analyst in his retirement.